Well ladies and gentlemen it is April in Queens, and as usual optimism is in the air at Shea Stadium. In our season opener, Johan Santana looked great, D-Dubs was hitting the ball, and all were happy in Mets world. Then yesterday came about, and we got our smack back down to reality.

Pedro Martinez trotted out to the mound for his first start of the season, and by the mid way point of last nights game cemented his place with Moises Alou as the most worthless member of the New York Metropolitans baseball squad. What we all saw coming happened in the bottom of the fourth inning at Dolphin Stadium last night in Miami. On a routine ground ball, Pedro managed to find a way to get hurt and get himself taken out of the game. Which I was alright with, because he looked like complete garbage.

So in the next day or two we will be hearing MRI results, and that Pedro will most likely miss the first two months of the season, because he is useless. Pedro then will fly down to some small minuscule Spanish island, meet up with his just as useless buddy Alou, and begin the healing process (and by healing I mean margaritas).

Now I know that most Mets fans have this awesome hard on for Moises Alou, but I for the life of me cannot figure out why. From April to July the man is harder to find then the Ultimate Warrior at a wrestling match. I don't care how good you are when you're healthy, if you only play less then half a season. That my friends is what I call counter production, and last time I checked counter production does not lead to World Championships. You know what is going to be awesome though, when Captain Useless is ready to return in July and Angel Pagan is hitting like .300 (that's right I said it) we're going to welcome him back with open arms. I have a better idea, release him, and let's just rid ourselves of the problem.

The same goes for Martinez. He is most likely going to be injured for a while now, because he is old and his bones and muscles don't heal so well. So you know what I say, deal him back to Boston and let him waste away in injured mediocrity up there. Plus his heart is still in Boston anyways (less we forget the inter league disaster of 2006).

So let's review and compare. We have two injured Hispanic men who spend most of their summers on a beach rather than a ball field. When they play they are solid, but they never play. They are an asset to this team...how? Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the two most useless men on the New York Mets since the Greg Jefferies/Jeff Innis era. Give it up for Moises Alou and Pedro Martinez.